2023-12-31


Worthy

  • 20th Anniversary Repost: Kaboom Kids

    Kaboom was for people -- children, I mean -- who had decided to give up on life. And it's a sad thing for a six-year-old to have already thrown in the towel and said, "Ah well. The hopes and dreams of kindergarten are ultimately exposed as so much folly. Give me the Kaboom, Ma. I'm ready to settle." Because that's all such a cereal is fit for, those who settle, who accept, those who lower their gaze in defeat and shame. This, this horrid Clown Cereal that looks like it's some kind of weird generic brand but it's actually marketed by General Mills. I suppose this was General Mills' attempt to tap the "downscale demographic" in six-year-olds.

    Nothing says "part of a balanced breakfast" like the Faces of the Unquiet Dead. The famous "death mask imagery" of Kaboom teaches children that aspiration is vanity and all dreams are lies


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